Party from hell (part one)

Although I wish I could blame all of my mistakes on other people, its really not that easy. I have a mind of my own and only I can make my decisions. Therefor, only I'm to blame. Even if it was something as simple as who to trust and who not to.



Back Then...

See, getting high for me was never about trying to be cool. It was an addiction that I stumbled into so many years before. And then after MM left, it became a way for me to fill the emptiness she had left behind. A way to dull the pain that thoughts of her would cause. There were other things too, but mainly...it was her.
Without the drugs, I stopped trying to hide the pain I felt. I stopped trying to pretend that I didn't miss her with everything in me. I actually dealt with it all. Still didn't understand it and I couldn't name it...then...but I didn't run from it anymore. Instead, I moved on.

Like I said, I was doing great and staying clean. I had to avoid a lot of people to do so, but it was what I wanted. I hung around Jason a lot. We would ride around the neighborhood, me on my skateboard and him on he bike. We would hang out at the park, chill in the grass, and listen to whatever was on his headphones. I was really starting to like him. It was more than obvious that he really liked me. Did I mention how good of a kisser he was?

There was only a week left of the summer and Friday and Saturday night, there were plans for huge parties. Parties that I really didn't want anything to do with. So when people would talk to me about going to them, I shrugged it off. I knew it was expected that I would be a given at the places but everyone was in for a shock. Even if I said I was going to be there, I knew I wasn't. Some people just wouldn't shut up, so I lied.

Besides, Friday night I WAS planning on hanging out with Jason and then Saturday, we were actually going to go out on that date.

Friday came and I was relaxing out front on the trunk of my mom's car, waiting for Jason. Dusk was moving in and bringing a nice warm summer breeze with it. I completely zoned out on the clouds above me and didn't hear anyone approaching.

"You are strange," LG said, slapping the metal fender of the car.
I jumped and choked on the smoke from my cigarette. "Dammit, LG. You shouldn't sneak up on people like that," I laughed. "What are you doing here? I thought there was some huge bash going on tonight."
"There is," she smiled. I didn't like that smile at all. It was a smile that said she had some devious plan or something.
"I'm not going. I'm not going anywhere," I told her, shaking my head to push my words.
She walked around the back of the car and took my cig from my hand. She took a deep drag and smiled that smile again. "I know. I figured you were going to say that. So did everyone else."
I took my smoke back as Jason pulled up in front of my house. I slid down from the car and kissed him as he reached out for a hug. I heard LG behind us making sounds that I'm sure had a scowl to go along with them. I flicked her off behind my back.
"Missed you," Jason said with a smile.
"That's not good." I was joking and he knew it. I turned and went back to my seat on the car. He followed, standing next to me.
LG leaned forward to look at Jason. "If I was you, I would get the hell out of here."
"Why?" he asked.
I elbowed her in the side. "It's my house. He's my friend. Respect that. If you don't like it, you leave."
"I can't leave," she shrugged. She leaned forward again and nodded at the car that had just turned on our street.
I looked. I was pissed. Around that corner was more than one car. It was more like five or so and the one in the lead...fucking Rich.
"What the hell, LG?" I slid down off the car again and faced her. "What is going on?"
She laughed. "Since you won't go anywhere with us, we are all coming to you. Party is here tonight."

I watched in disbelief as each car pulled up in front of my house. Each car filled to its maximum with passengers. Each car filled with people I had been doing so good at distancing myself from. I was so pissed, I started to shake.

"Why the hell didn't you ask me before you did this?" All that anger was definitely coming through in my voice.
LG looked down the street again as more cars rounded the corner. "Because we all knew you would say no. It wasn't all my idea."
"Fuck!" I raked my hands through my hair. I was so tempted to pull it out. "This can't happen here, LG. It can't. I can't. Lets get them all to go down to your house."
I started to walk toward the cars that were emptying but LG grabbed my shirt and pulled me back.
"That's a joke, right? My parents would freak if all these people were in their front yard." She smiled over my shoulder. "And your mom is cool. Come on, B. Its the last weekend before school."

I shook my head. I turned around to tell everyone to leave but I knew it was going to be useless. They had already piled out of the cars and were drinking and smoking and doing whatever else. There must have been thirty or more people already and there were still cars pulling up. It was definitely going to be a night full of testing my will to stay clean. I hung my head and slid back up on the trunk of my mom's car. At least I had Jason.

He grabbed my hand. "I think I'm going to go." He looked over his shoulder nervously.
"No." I gripped his hand tighter. I wanted him to stay but I didn't want to beg. "Its cool. Just hang out with me."
I could tell he was debating his decision in his head. He smiled and kissed me. "Maybe for a little while."
He turned around and was about to climb up on the car with me but he stopped cold. Rich and RM were standing right in front of us.
"Who the fuck are you and what the fuck are you doing kissing my girl?" Rich crossed his arms over his chest. He was wearing a tight fitting tank top and the muscles in his arms were bulging. He looked intimidating but he didn't fool me.
"I'm not your fucking girl, asshole." I waved my hand for him to leave us alone. "Fuck off."
"You will be my girl," he said with determined certainty. He stepped forward and shoved Jason's shoulder.

This kind of pissed me off. Jason...he seemed like he was backing down. Rich wasn't much bigger than him and I was sure, if it came to it, Jason would have been able to hold his own. But he showed weakness instead and he lost a little of my interest there. It didn't fit with my "Show no weakness because only the strong survive" mentality.

I jumped down off the car and pushed Rich back myself. "I said fuck off. I'm not yours."

Rich grabbed my arm and pulled me around behind him. RM got me in a bear hug and brought us both down to our knees. I guess he knew the damage my legs might do to him if given the chance.

Rich motioned for Jason to step forward. Nervously, he did, but he didn't look ready to fight. He looked like he was about to run. And seeing Rich and him standing face to face, I realized that Jason definitely wasn't as big as Rich. He had the height but Rich had the bulk.

"Leave him alone, Rich," I yelled as I tried to free myself from RM.
Jason mumbled something and took a step toward his bike. Rich didn't hesitate. He swung, knocking Jason back a few steps. Jason wiped his face on his sleeve and threw a half assed punch back at Rich. It was too easy to block and counter, and this time Jason was on his ass. Jason scrambled on the ground and crawled to his bike. He ran like a wimp.

"If I see you around her again, I'll fucking kill you, pussy!" Rich turned around and looked at me with a cocky grin that made me sick.
"You are a fucking dick." I threw my head back and caught RM's face. He quickly let me go and I jumped to my feet. I pushed Rich onto my moms car.
"Ooh, I like it when you're rough, baby," he smiled.
"Fuck you," I said and kicked him in the shin. He immediately bent over clutching at it. I had the perfect opportunity to knee him in the face, but I didn't take it. I should have took it. "Why don't you and your boyfriend," I motioned to RM, "get the fuck out of here. I don't want to see your face." I spit, missing his head by an inch or so.
"You don't mean that," he groaned, still holding his shin.
"I do."
I walked away. I should have kept walking.

Human Property

Back to the story...

As the summer went on, more and more people would show up at my house on a nightly basis. It became the local hangout...for everybody. Mom didn't mind as long as we didn't get too loud that the cops were called.

There was a new guy in the neighborhood. His name was Jason and he had stopped to talk to me a few times when he was riding around on his bike. I liked him and I liked his music. He was always wearing headphones, jamming to some new death metal band as he rode by.

"Hey, you wanna listen?" he asked as he rode up.

I was sitting on the trunk of my mom's car, smoking a cigarette and waiting for LG to finish her chores so she could come and hang out. "Sure," I smiled. Hey, he was cute. "Who is it today?"

"Today is some old stuff from Testament. You've heard of them, right?"

Of course I had heard of them. "Yeah," I nodded.

He dropped his bike and jumped up on the back of the car with me. He pulled one of the ear buds from his ear and passed it to me.
Jason wasn't like the other guys I had met from the neighborhood. He was nice, not cocky, and didn't push for anything other than to hangout with me every now and then. He was good looking, with a nice friendly smile, gorgeous blue eyes and long light brown hair that never looked messy. He respected my personal space and that is more than I could say for the rest of the guys in the neighborhood. Mostly we talked about music.

The sun was dropping fast and he was acting a little strange. He seemed nervous and a little out of his normal calm cool relaxed zone. He got down from the car and turned around.
"I was thinking," he almost whispered, "that maybe...maybe I could take you to the movies or something, sometime?" He stared down at the ground and rocked back and forth on his heels. For some reason, I found his actions completely hot.

"Yeah." I reached for the front of his shirt and pulled him closer. His rocking was pulling the ear bud away from me. "I'd like that," I grinned.

He was the first guy to ask me out without propositioning sex first. He was also my age. I liked him. So when he leaned in to kiss me, I let him. He was so nervous that it took all I had not to laugh. He stepped closer and moved a shaky hand over my leg as his other wrapped around my waist. It was the nicest, sweetest kiss I'd ever had from a guy.
I slid down from the car and he held onto me. He leaned back and smiled as he tucked my hair behind my ear. "I was sure you were going to say no."

I weighed his words. He pegged me right. Normally, I would have said no. And I probably would have decked him if he had tried to kiss me under any other circumstances. But, there was something about him that was different from the rest. He wasn't part of the drug scene I was in. He wasn't egotistical. He never made me feel uncomfortable around him. He was...better than the rest somehow and I wanted to be a part of that. Above the drugs and the loser life I had dropped myself in to. Maybe I thought that with him, I could get back to the nice clean fun and maybe back to good.

"I might have said no if you were anyone else," I admitted. "But you're all right," I smiled. I leaned back against the car and pulled him with me. He was a damn good kisser and I wanted more.

"Oh my God! I am not seeing this," LG yelled from her front yard.
I flicked her off and continued to kiss him.
"Who the hell are you?" she asked as she walked up beside us. "You're not one of us." Her voice was mean and loud.
"Fuck you, LG," I said. I put my hand against his chest and held him away from me a few inches. It was getting hot. "His name is Jason and who says I can't kiss someone that isn't one of us?"
LG shook her head and turned to face me. She put her hand on his shoulder and pushed him even farther away from me. "What about Rich?"

Whoa! She did not just say that. "Rich is a disgusting pig. There is nothing and never will be anything between us!"

Jason took a step back. "Maybe I better go."
I grabbed his shirt again and gave him another kiss. "I'll see you tomorrow?"
"Yeah," he said, looking from me to LG and then back at me. "Same time?"
I nodded and let him kiss me once more before he picked up his bike and rode off.

"What the fuck, LG?" I stepped up to her and gave her a shove. "Fuck Rich and those scum bag guys over there."

She looked surprised as she regained her footing and straightened up. She stepped in my face and raised her hands to shove me back. I brought my hands up on the inside and knocked her hands away. "The guys are gonna kick his ass if they see him hanging around you."
"Why the hell would they do that?" I stepped back and looked her over. "Sorry I pushed you."
She pulled out a pack of smokes and lit two. "I'll forgive you this time." She passed me one and jumped on the trunk of the car. "Look, Rich says you are his. If he sees," she pointed at Jason's back as he rode away, "him anywhere near you, he is going to beat the shit out of him."

The first thing that went through my head was why Rich would think something like that. I wasn't property and I sure as hell wasn't his girl. I barely ever spoke to him, even though he was hanging out at my house almost every night since he dropped me and LG off. But everyone was. And I never invited him. The second thing that crossed my mind was that Jason was no match for Rich.

"You're kidding me, LG. I'm not property. Especially not his. Who the fuck does he think he is?" I took a drag and let the smoke out slow. A few cars turned the corner and I recognized them as the gang starting to arrive. "I think its time I stop hanging out with these guys."

LG shook her head as she watched RM and Rich climb out of the car. "Impossible," she whispered.