Fade

My ex never once told me that I was beautiful. Actually, I don't remember ex ever saying one nice thing to me the entire time we were together. But ex was good with the words when ex wanted me to go out with him.

I spent twelve years being told I was fat (I weighed 120lbs soak and wet and I'm 5'8"). Twelve years being called bitch. Twelve years being called a whore. Twelve years being told I was a piece of shit and nobody would ever want me. Twelve years of lies because he knew he would never be able to keep me.

And one morning with J is all I ever need to erase (from my new mindset) all the bullshit, cut downs, lies, and hate filled accusations.

I was watching her make breakfast as the sun was coming up. Sexy as hell in her Calvin Klein boxers and her white shirt. I had my legs pulled up on the kitchen chair, hugging my knees, and my chin resting on top of them. She turned around and looked my way. I knew I was caught staring at her ass, so I sat up, tilted my head to the side, and smiled my best "I'm innocent" smile.

The look in her eyes told me that I wasn't really busted. A slow smile curved her lips as she brought the food to the table.

"What?" I asked. Her stare was making me fidget.
Her smile consumed her face as she shrugged.
"What?" I asked again. I checked my clothes to make sure nothing was showing that wasn't supposed to be. Flannel shorts were fine (although they are now three sizes too big) and my long sleeved white shirt was covering what it was supposed to be covering. So I looked back at her and smiled again.
"Nothing." She paused to sip her milk. "Its just I've never seen you look as beautiful as you do right now."

One sentence from her and all that old bullshit fades like a bruise.